I haven't written for awhile. It has been an incredibly busy month and quite frankly, I'm a bit numb. The last month I've gone to more tennis tournaments than I can count, a few flag football games (Grant), a piano recital, wrapped up Hide 'N Seek including our final program, struggled to only work 3 days a week in the office resulting in many hours from home, our new "Vickie" started at work (her name is Jan) as well as a couple others we hired, took a business trip to Phoenix, and planted our garden to try to reduce the grocery bill and tried, unsucessfully, to keep up with grocery shopping, housework and meals. Last weekend was our final HNS performance and Drew and Dean both wrapped up their tennis seasons. Mark still has a couple weeks left. The next three weeks bring youth group dinners, tennis banquets, middle school open houses (yes, Grant is "graduating from Elementary School), field trips, high school college credit enrollment (yes, Drew can begin earning college credit!), Mother's Day, baby showers, bridal showers, graduations and open houses, more new employees and FINALLY a vacation - to Colorado - over Memorial Day weekend. Some people dread the busyness of the holiday season. For us, that season is April and May.
This season has always been busy for us, but add to it the demands of a two year old, two boys in tennis as well as the coach, working an extra day, being in a new position and being an employee short for the past seven months has been enough to send my adrenals into the critical zone. My doctor called with that news last week. So, my job for the next six months at least, is to figure out how to rebuild my adrenals as well as figure out how to reduce my stress. Since I'd like to keep the kids and the marriage, I'll be doing a lot of praying about what of the other needs to go.
Micah and I spent quite a bit of time outside planting flowers and putting in the last of the garden. I finally got my floor mopped and a couple phone calls made. If you looked at my house, you would wonder what I did all day because it definitely looks unattended. But it seems that even when I give it attention, it still look as though I didn't 15 minutes later, so might as well leave it as is and enjoy the sunshine, right?
Usually I am looking forward to summer and really, I still am. But it brings so much activity and chaos as well as shoes, towels, toys, books, balls, music, noise, food, dirty dishes, unending trips to the grocery store and friends all over the house all the time that I must admit, I'm feeling the anxiety of it creeping in. I hope I have enough time to regroup before it all hits. Otherwise, I may need to go away by myself for a few days to restore sanity around late June. I'm going to need to put in some strict chore lists and standards. It doesn't help to write "pick up the house" if their standard is "but I'm going to use that raquet again tonight" and "but the towel is drying on that chair" and "but I thought Drew was going to eat that cereal too". That's the trouble with not being here everyday to maintain. It can get really out of hand in a very short time and then I walk in and feel completely overwhelmed. Which is basically where I am now. So hopefully this will pass before May 22nd.
I know I have much to be thankful for. My children are healthy, our families are doing well, wonderful friends, great community, fabulous church. So many, many blessings. Just writing that makes me feel more at peace. But I do sense God calling me to find the still waters as best I can in this next season and take stock. Two short years before Drew graduates. Two short years left with Micah before kindergarten. Too precious to not be intentional about savoring every moment. I tend to stretch myself very thin serving in a myriad of ways - particularly at work and church. It is hard to say no to things I know I can do and would enjoy. But I must remind myself that every yes I say somewhere else, often means a no to my family in some way. We have pulled together well this past eight months but it was intended as a season and it's time to regroup. I know God has new and wonderful things in store but I must let go of some of the old to make room for the new. That's a good thing.